Pabswikk’s Monotonous Speeches [PMS]

Wow it’s been a long time. And by that I mean LOOOOOONG time. In fact I feel bad posting this. Since I stopped posting there must have been 10 posts which are incredibly helpful and interesting. I feel bad to break the mold and go back to boring topics like James Bond like I promised I would at the end of my last post. In fact it hardly even seems relevant anymore with the release of Quantum of Solace being so long ago. But I will anyway.

Oh and if anyone was wondering why I was gone for so long, I have been writing a book, which I am hoping to have published one day. Fingers crossed.

Ok, onto the main event. Bond!

So what will I be concentrating on? Well only the easiest part to concentrate on. The actors. I will be covering the main 5. These are:

Sean Connery

Roger Moore

Timothy Dalton

Pierce Brosnan

Daniel Craig.

She Shells Shea Shells By The Shea Shore

She Shells Shea Shells By The Shea Shore

This is Sean Connery for the idiots out there. A little known fact, he used to be a body builder before acting. One of the few successful conversions to acting. He managed to turn Bond into a slick, cool headed individual with a very dry wit. Basically encapsulated what it was to be British, and managed to pull it off with a Scottish accent. Nicshe!

...The 70s were an odd time...

...The 70's were an odd time...

Yeah, an odd Bond. He wasn’t even a really great actor. He was more a product of the zany 70’s and it really shows. Odd gadgets, unusual names [Pussy Goldberg?!?] and even odder villains, like the nigh invincible Jaws.

But it was fun, and a time when Bond enjoyed great popularity. I for one immensly enjoyed him as Bond because he was definitely the funniest one. And had puns coming out of his ass.

Why does no-one remember me?!?

''Why does no-one remember me?!?''

I think good old Tim was ahead of his time. His films were [I think] the grittiest until Daniel Craig. His films would’ve been better suited to the naughties. I enjoy his films much more now than when I first viewed them. His Bond was less witty and more dark and emotional. Very underrated.

Smug Irish...bastard....

Smug Irish...bastard....

A Bond for the nineties, returning the wit and slick to the Bond series. Goldeneye was perhaps my favorite Bond film of all time, and Sean Bean is the best 007 villain ever. It’s a shame the villains only went downhill from there, leading to a media mongul starting a war to gain more press. But Pierce was still so cool that if you look at ‘Slick’ in an British dictionary it’s a picture of him. And Sean Connery. Perhaps kissing….I dunno…

He got this women in the bed by asking her to help him look for a pencilcase. Imagine what shed have done if hed used an actual chat up line!

He got this women in the bed by asking her to help him look for a pencilcase. Imagine what she'd have done if he'd used an actual chat up line!

So Daniel Craig. The badass motherf***er of the Bond world. Taking no prisoners and no puns, he swings into action. Literally swings. Or jumps. Or flies through an explosion on YOUR FACE! Seriously his stunts are so amazing he lost half a finger doing them. And I presume he then went on to bang his directors wife and daughter. Before killing some Nazis. That’s how bad-ass he is. The only poor thing is that after killing the nazis via time-travel, he wouldn’t say something like ‘And there’s still ebough TIME for brunch.’ No he’d say something like ‘RAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH’ before blowing up Germany in a massive explosion and jumping onto a segway going at 1000 mph and jumping over a ramp and landing in Merry Old England. Hopefully next to my house.

So Many Bonds, so little time. All a product of their time, all equally good in their own way. I’m assuming the next one will be a hacker of some sort, and the 2020 one will be a cyborg.

Thanks for listening, hopefully I’ll get inspiration for a more helpful article before next time.

Posted on January 19, 2009, in Entertainment, News and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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