Trust – If You Lose It, Then Good Luck Getting It Back

As in my previous post, there are a lot of virtues in life I strongly believe in.  One of them is trust.  Have you ever been in a situation where you trusted someone to do their part of the deal, and it totally falls through?  How did that make you feel?  How did it make the other person feel?  Trust is what binds people together, and creates relationship.  The moment that trust is broken, you can consider your friend’s “ass is grass”.  This is story number 6…

When I grew up, I took part in bible school, where once a week I would go to the local community center and join my fellow students in studying the bible and learning more about our faith in Jesus Christ.   One of the experiments we did during my time there was an activity about trust.  It was a very weird, yet cool experiemnt.  How it works is you would close your eyes, and you were told to fall backwards.  The person behind you will “catch” you from your fall. You just had to have trust in your peer that he would catch you, and of course in this classroom, everyone caught each other.

Another activity was one where everyone chants your name, and with your eyes close, you are supposed to fall backwards on everyone’s hands as they lift you in the air as they chant your name.  You just had to trust that no single person is weak enough to hold your body, and they they can lift you from the ground into the air, all at the same time while chanting your name over and over.  It was uncomfortable at first, because never had I had anyone repeat my name so many times in a few minutes.  In another sense, it was breath taking.  People love to hear their own names said, because it is who they are.

If I said, “Hey, can you help me a second?  How would you feel?

Now what if I said, “Hey Jayson, can you help me a second?  I would appreciate it.”  I think you would feel important, and by saying your name, I probably made you feel more secure to be around me.

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When I was in fourth grade, I remembered playing outside on the playground, and a classmate I knew named Jose thought it would be funny to pull my shorts down.  So I was talking to another friend of mine, when all of a sudden I feel fresh air around my legs.  Then I noticed my shorts was down (yes, I had boxers on) and Jose was behind me just laughing.

Yes, I know kids can be immature, but seriously how low can you go? (no pun intended).  I was embarrassed, and I told the teacher about it.  Of course, Jose got in trouble and said he was sorry, but did I believe his apology?  I think throughout the rest of the year, I just had a grudge against Jose.  I just couldn’t trust him anymore.  Maybe he felt like a dirt bag inside, and I was happy that he felt that way, but after awhile I felt bad.  This is no way to live.  Eventually, I accepted his apology and we were good friends again.

Now fast forward 20 or so years and you are an adult. You need to have trust in your family, your significant other, and maybe the people you work with.  Now with the economy going down, you have to be very careful who you trust. If you do transactions on the Internet, only do business with reptuable sites.  Having your identity stolen is not fun at all.

True story: When I was in high school, my mom had called me saying that someone tried to file a credit card in my name.  Luckily, I didn’t have any existing credit, so no credit card could be made in my name, but that was scary!  Identity theft is a big deal, and you cannot trust people on the Internet much these days.  As they say, never give out personal information on the Internet that you don’t know, it could be used against you in ways you never imagined.

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In general, trust has to be earned, not given.  If I told you a lie, and you found out about it, how hard would it be for you to trust me when I told you the truth the next time?  Would you believe me, or would you think in the back of your mind that I was a liar?  You see?  Once you lose someone’s trust the first time around, it is VERY hard to earn it back.  Even if you do manage to convince them to trust you, there is always that possibility of them questioning you in their mind if you are truthful or not.

Honesty is the best policy.  If you try to lie, it may come back and haunt you.  Don’t do it.  Be truthful when you can, even if it hurts.  When I deal with people in hamachi or online, I am using a new phase “Don’t be a tool”, because honestly, I am fed up of people not doing research on their own to do things.  I help as I can, but c’mon, it eats up too much of my time.  However, people trust me I am giving them the correct information, and of course I am.  I live for that trust feeling.

In short, do not try to beat around the bush with people.  Try to be honest if you can, or at least be blunt about it.  Lying gets you nowhere in life, and trust me, I have seen people lie before and lose their jobs.  Not fun at all.  Have you lied before?  Did you get busted?  Sound off in the comments!