Real Girl + Gaming Online = Uncharted Territory

CS Game Girl


6-9-09: Initial release

8-22-11: Added new disclaimer.

Disclaimer: The topics and ideas that are written below were just some of my insights that I myself have witnessed, as well as told to me by other male gamers. What I have stated does not mean that 100% of the male gaming population are douche bags.  There are some docile male gamers out there, and then there are those that know how to respect girl gamers. Then there are those that don’t. This article was not written as real advice, as I am just a guy. I don’t have a degree in counseling or psychology, but I’m just telling it based upon my own male experiences. I could be wrong,  or I could be right. What matters is that I have engaged you into a possible discussion, and that is all that matters. – Versatile

Are you a girl who plays games?  Awesome, we need more gamers like yourself online since a majority of it is dominated by the male race.  However, my advice to current and future game girls:  Be careful of how you present yourself online.  Let me explain below and why I am sick of the baggage that comes with game girls and them complaining once they start to get chewed out.

Pros of Game Girls

  • Keep guys sharp. If you beat a guy, you can rub it in.  A girl beat you! ROFL!
  • New friendships. Guys who find out a gamer is a girl will act differently (for better or worse?)
  • Playing with a girl is different than playing with guys all the time.  Breaks up the tension.
  • Can turn into a virtual gaming relationship?
  • The sound of a girl makes some guys tremble to their knees. :0

Cons of Game Girls

  • Some game girls are just frickin’ annoying.  They talk and rant and talk some more about nothing, especially in Garena chat rooms (as an example). 
  • If a girl beats a guy, and they are mean, they will rub it in and hold it to you for life.
  • Girls can be pissy and will rip on anyone who doesn’t follow their values/ideas.
  • If a girl is harassed verbally or through online text, it causes a scene.  More douchebag guys may take advantage of the event and start to participate in the online abuse.
  • Girls may be treated different than male players solely for the fact the gamer is a girl and nothing else.
  • Guys behave differently when playing with a girl?  Cramps the guy style possibly?
  • Some game girls really suck at playing the game.  Then when they die, they blame it on themselves because they are a girl, or when it comes to games, it is expected the weakest player is the girl.
  • Some game girls are not hardcore enough, and are so casual in their game playing that they are unreliable game players. 

Advice for the new and current Game Girls

If you are a girl, and you are going to be playing online, please do not pick a name that somehow implies you are a girl! Why?

First of all, see the con list above.  The fact that guys know you are a girl can change the dynamics of the game.  Male players may not give their best, or if they do, they will try to outdo you in everything simply because they do not want their gaming ego to be hurt by a girl.

Secondly, do not pick a name that is girlish.  A name like airgirl111 or SexyJessica is going to bring insult.  Male players are going to make jokes and say you are a guy with a girl name.  You may proceed to defend yourself and somehow prove to the others that you truly are a girl.  Using a microphone makes it easy, but for those who do not have mics, it may not be easy in the end to prove you are a girl if that is important to you.

Thirdly, being a girl and letting others know is going to bring harassment in one way or another.  Do not be surprised if guys start making sexual comments or jokes around you.  When I am in these chat rooms reading it, I take pity on both the game girl as well as the people who partake in the activity.  What is even more sad is that sometimes the game girl provokes others and encourages the “rough” behavior!

I don’t get it.  Some people just want to throw sophistication out the window.  If you are going to pick a new identity online, you can’t go wrong with a neutral name like Iknowtx3000sux, Peppers, Lightbulb, Hammer, RemoteControl, Screwdriver, HousePet, Drill, NonTool, and AfricanPancakes (actually people might think you are African so scratch that).  Well, you get the point.

If you are a girl, and one day start bitching about how people treat you, then I advise you take a hard look at how you act online.  Do you provoke others? Encourage rude behavior?  Game name is girl like?  Well, that is your fault and shame on you.

However, there are other game girls out there that are perfectly fine and people don’t harass.  These girls are nice players, and although some of them have “girly” names, they at least act in a respectable manner like for example names like britney, xbladex, or ziggi.

What do you think?  Am I off base?  If you are a girl gamer, tell me what you think. I am interested in what you got to say!

I am a game girl and I am going to PWN you.

I am a game girl and I am going to PWN you.

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Posted on June 9, 2009, in Gaming, News and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. World of Warcraft is filled with Gamer Girls, next time i see one bitchin’- I’ll slap them with this topic lol!

  2. omg its spelt brittany, please don’t spell my name the same as that whore pop star! 😛

    “Some game girls really suck at playing the game. Then when they die, they blame it on themselves because they are a girl, or when it comes to games, it is expected the weakest player is the girl.”

    I think the latter part of that statement is not entirely true, but those are just my thoughts… Other then that, good post!

  3. CONS

    -Things like Chicah happen. 🙂

    I must disagree on one thing, and say that to say that by picking a girlish name girls are inviting abuse is akin to (although far less extreme) saying that a girl wearing skimpy clothes is inviting sexual harrasment and worse… I don’t think it’s fair to say that. Of course, some people DELIBERATELY pick girly names IN ORDER TO stir shit… a form of trolling, I suppose. But all in all, the guys shouldn’t be abusing them in the first place. Light-hearted, witty banter, that’s cool. Otherwise, the fault lies with the guy, not the girl with the girly name.

    Of course, you could argue that even if that’s the case, boys will be boys and by picking a girly name you WILL get harassed. As it is guaranteed to happen, and it can’t be avoided, just don’t pick a girly name. Another perspective I guess 🙂

    I personally don’t really change my gaming attitude to someone if they’re male or female… having basically spent my teen years playing with women a billion times better than me, I try as hard against them as I do against men. Of course, my social attitude changes, just as it would in real life. But as far as shooting them goes, gender changes nothing!

    Interesting topic for your post, it would be interesting to see where this one goes…

  4. Well, since SexyJessica is an inappropriate name choice, I’ll assume SexyKaylee is not better 🙂
    (As a quick aside: Chrisab429 set up my Garena account. He thought it was ‘clever’ to call me SexyKaylee and as a guy didn’t consider the repercussions of this. I wouldn’t have chosen it personally.)

    Now, my two cents, since you asked:
    While occasionally I’ll get a response from the typical male dumbass going “ur a guy” or “u must b fugly”, most guys online and on Garena don’t give me much trouble. I’m really good at ignoring stupid people, so anyone who makes comments like this are easily dismissed.

    In game: To be fair, I generally play with the same people (gamers I know) or maybe one or two new people. I haven’t had trouble with them in game at all. If they do have negative opinions of me, I haven’t heard them voice any.

    I guess in the whole scope of it all, the fact that some guys are douches isn’t something that bothers me. For every “u r a fugly chik” there is another guy that is respectful and then there are just a bunch of guys in the middle who just like to joke about everyone and everything.

    I kept the name SexyKaylee in the Garena chat room because:
    (A: I’m too lazy to create a new account and I believe that costs money to change the name now and
    (B: I really don’t feel the need to prove myself at all. When a guy (or girl, because they are honestly worse sometimes) gives me shit, in my mind they are not worth a second of my time. And it doesn’t bother me. I knew what would happen by keeping my name as it is and I accepted those consequences whole-heartily.

    This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with guys. I’m studying in a male dominated field. I’m used to being the only girl in classrooms of thirty or so students. Guys act the same everywhere (maybe a little more vocal online, but personalities don’t change). I’ve encountered the guys that treat me special just because I have a vagina. I’ve also dealt with plenty of guys who solely judge my skill level on my sex. There are always going to be guys that wait for the one chance I suck or fail at something just to rub it in my face claiming “Oh stupid girl”. It’s life.

    There’s not point to hiding that I am a girl. That makes it seem like there’s something I’m ashamed of. Now, even though my name is SexyKaylee (and again, only in Garena is it this username), I’ve never walked in to the room and specifically gone “Yes, men, yes, I am a girl. Blah blah blah.” Usually I just comment about a particular topic or randomly joke. I don’t think it should matter whether I am a girl or not and that’s exactly how I act.

    So far, I’ve got nothing to complain about as far as treatment. I only participate in conversations that I want to. I ignore the douchebags and I don’t have much problem.

    In summation:
    Some guys are idiots, some chicks are idiots, I’ve got no problem, and I like my name dammit.

    • Talk about taking the rug under my feet. That was a great comment. There will be girls who are totally cool, and then there are those who are the bitchy type for the sake of being bitchy.

      In retrospect, your story about you being the only female in a male dominated class can be turned around for the other sex too. My brother studied nursing, and being that there are only 13 guys out of 200 students can be daunting and perhaps the the other ladies will tease the men and whatever.

      I get it, and such is life. You got the idiots, the vocalists, the extremists, and all the others in between who are too scared to make a wrong move or say something wrong. ;0

  5. Daveeeeeeeeee

    I like the pic at the end.

    If you want a comment from me. :]

  6. I agree with you 100%
    I’m a girl gamer and nothing irritates me more than hearing other girls in game lobbies talking like sluts, or having a suggestive name implying they are girls. It gives me a bad reputation as a girl because the vast majority of girl gamers just act stupid.

  7. I’m a gamer girl, I play (or have played on) xbox, ps, ds, dsi, gb, nintendo, n64, snes, atari, genesis, dreamcast, etc. I’ve been gaming since I was 5, played the hell out of frogger on atari, beat the crap outta that lil paddle, haha. But before all that I was playing a commodore computer that had the first games I was playing, one where you flew a magic carpet (again I was about 5), so I was immersed pretty early, and I love video games, I don’t rub stuff into a guys face if I win, unless he was trying to degrade me to begin with, I’ve actually had a lot of guys demand I join their part on Call of Duty : World at War because I am a decent gamer, some of them just enjoy playing with a girl that’s fun or funny, but yes we do get our bitchy sides when people do not play the game right because it disgusts us that people have to cheat to win or they have a cow. For instance a lot of guys that play against me will, hide in corners, hide in our spawns and camp it out. Use “noob tubes” because they can’t kill as good as everyone else. those tend to peeve me and I do say something. But unfortunately we (girls) are the same way when it comes to if a guys gonna talk trash we’ll shut them up. :o)

    Gaming should not be sexist(yes I have received sexist voice messages on xbox live), it should be about having fun playing a game you all obviously enjoy since you are online playing it, not tryin to prove who has the biggest cahones because I’m pretty amazing at lazer tag to boot. ;oD
    Who cares if girls actually share an interest guys have?
    We’re not playing it for you, to get with you.
    We enjoy it too, so treat us with some respect.
    Or we’ll “beat you at your own game” or make you look silly, this is the age of technology and there is youtube. :o)

  8. I agree with your cons, they do act differently.
    gl hf gf

  9. Jeeeeeeesus.

    Yes, gaming girls do act in a different way from gamer guys. Gamer guys are so misogynistic, that if you play as a woman character all the men treat you like you’re stupid, they treat you like all your complaints are as illogical and emotional as a baby crying, they don’t take your opinions seriously, they act like it’s a huge chore to hang around you in-game, they act as if your ONLY VALUE is relationships or in-game marriage, they frequently make statements like “Yeah women are a pain in the ass, but you MIGHT get some vagina down the line. So chalk that one up to the PRO’s list”.

    Men can say things like “OHHHHHHH I RAPED THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BRO! WELCOME TO COMPTON!” when they dominate in Halo. They can yell whatever horrendous slur they want, and its just competitive. When a woman dominates….she better remain absolutely silent and not “rub it in and hold it to you for life”. I…..seriously doubt the author has ever asked his man friends to stop celebrating their recent left 4 dead victory, because they’re rubbing it in and it hurts his feelings. lol.

    THOSE behaviors, that only gamer guys do. THOSE weird double standards they create, those weird special rules like “Men can have manly names like Konan the barbarian, but women, don’t choose girly names like JessicaMage” THOSE are the reason I have to join women-only video game tournaments, and women-only guilds in MMO’s, etc. Cuz men are just so annoying and offensive and controlling.

    One of your other complaints: “Girls can be pissy and will rip on anyone who doesn’t follow their values/ideas”. Talk about a double standard. If a man was complaining it would be logical then, right? Cuz men don’t get pissy? Other little gems you typed: “If you are a girl, and you are going to be playing online, please do not pick a name that somehow implies you are a girl!”….” The fact that guys know you are a girl can change the dynamics of the game. Male players may not give their best” Like i give a fuck! You’re saying please sell out my identity so that MEN can have a little more fun? What the fuck ever.

    “Thirdly, being a girl and letting others know is going to bring harassment in one way or another. Do not be surprised if guys start making sexual comments or jokes around you.” Your comment is insulting to women by blaming them for something they can’t change. (Oh, its my fault because I’m a woman. I should have turned into a man before I entered the street fighter tournament, stupid me). AND it’s insulting to men. Jeez, implying that all gaming men are just a bunch of dumb sexist bullies who cannot help but resort to making a gamers’ life hell when they find out she’s a woman. I’d like to hope that some gamers are gentlemen.

    Articles like your’s are one of the reasons that although 40% of gamers are women, they often choose male characters so they don’t have to deal with men’s complaints, or the perceived fear that men will treat them differently.

    • Thanks for your awesome response. It is good to have another view from the other side of the pond. I wrote this article when I was in a different time, different state of mind, but hell, a lot of the values I bring up are what a lot of guys could relate to.

      Granted, there are still some “gentlemen” gamers that coexist with gaming girls and let them be. They aren’t sexist or prone to instantly jump to rage on the girl player. I’ve seen some girl players and I got my ass handed to me. I’ll accept that. And I also agree that men gamers inadvertently place double standards on girl gamers, whether they consciously know it or not. It comes with the lay of the land.

      Nonetheless, this is how things are going to be, and I doubt the whole male gaming populace is going to change. There are always those who are the rage quitters, there will always be those who will be egotistical pricks, and then there are those who will love the chance to flaunt what they got against women gamers.

      I don’t disagree with what you stated, and its comforting to know how other girl gamers think about the video game industry which was predominately dominated by men, but now is losing share to girls due to casual gaming.

  10. Very but very interesting conversation going on here. I have to say that it is outrageous to me, when a male player does not treat a female player as mutual. I’ve always belonged to online multigaming communities (we named ourselves like that because we wanted to be more and at the same time less, than a clan , so we could attract a wider range of people) and i would be the only one bringing girls into them. In the last few years i have been managing a community, and every time i see a female girl being disrespected by the other members without having provoked it, i just can’t stand it and i have kicked members for doing so.
    If girls do not want to be constantly harassed they are forced to use nicknames that hide their real identity, this makes no sense, so we punish the victim and let the guilty run wild?? The internet is nothing more than an adult version of building a tree fort and hanging up a “No gurLs aLouD” sign on the door. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.

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