The True Meaning of Family

Of course we all know what family is, but there is a difference between blood-family and real family. Usually when someone says to you, “When is your family coming over?” you both know that they’re referring to the blood relatives. That isn’t what I am referring to though; I’m talking about the ones that are truly there for you, that care for you and take your side even through unfathomable odds of success.

Speaking from experience, family isn’t always what their title is cut out to be. Time and time again, I’ve suffered because of the relatives; they’ve brought me nothing but pain and sorrow. But I can’t complain; you know why? Because they’re right. True enough, over the years I’ve been given a few more beatings than I deserved, but they have the upper hand. There is no winning. Why is there no winning? Well, because for starters, they really DO own the house, and they DO put clothes on your back and a meal on the table. Maybe not always, but they do.

In all of their years of bad parenting, I still haven’t figured out the answer to this one question: “Why do they want me if they’re just going to neglect me?” I couldn’t count the number of times where they beat me and told me to get out of the house. They still keep me though, which is weird. Often, I’ve thought of the possibility that they actually do love me, but those contemplations were quickly diminished when they took my Christmas money and got wasted instead of buying my brother and me presents. Maybe they want me around as a workhorse? I am not sure; the only thing I am sure of is how many times I have called the police on my father for trying to beat us (I tallied it; it was 12).

As resentful of my parents as I am, I don’t jump to conclusions, ever. It’s one of my rules. Before I decided to declare all parents evil and try to banish them to a secluded island with no hope of escape, I did a bit of research and investigating. Secretly, through conversations, I interviewed young children, teens and adults of what they think about their parents and family (opinions do change); the results were just as I expected: about half of the subjects really HATE their parents, and the other half, as one said, “Sometimes they can be A-holes, but usually they are good parents.”

Now let me make my point, before this article becomes unbearably long: Your true family is not that of your blood, it is the one that truly cares for you. Your family might be your best friend, your girlfriend, or even your co-workers. It’s the people you feel most safe with; the ones that have the ability to create a warm and loving bubble around you.

My family is my friends. Although that may be a bit pathetic to say, they’re all I possess. Sure, my parents have done more for me than my friends have, but that’s because they have to, not because they want to (it’s the thought that counts.); because if they don’t, I’ll call Child Services on them. My real family, on the other hand, has done more for me than my blood-relatives ever could. Instead of feeling fearful and miserable, I feel optimistic and content.

Don’t think you’re stuck with one family forever, because you’re not. Sure, you might have the same DNA as them, but all humans have blood, and there are so many to choose from. Don’t let some chauvinistic, egoistic maniacs ruin your life; find someone that actually appreciates you, in form of love or friendship (or both). Don’t let them convince you that your world revolves around them. Create your own family, your own path, your own future.

About venomouswonder

I'm just the mere age of 19. I write, and I F**CKING love it.

Posted on June 19, 2010, in News. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Hey Versatile!
    Do you remember me? It’s me, Gmaster, from tunngle. I’ve finally had the time to create an account in wordpress. My username is Gmaster5510 in tunngle, if you remember. I liked this one. It’s good. ESPECIALLY the picture. I like playing Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. Brings back those good ‘ol PS2 memories. Now I’m just waiting for the Kingdom Hearts 3! Anyway, nice article! 🙂

  2. Hello. I’m a teacher and have recently been thinking about how to create more of a “family” atmosphere in my classroom. I started researching the meaning of family and came across your very interesting article. I think you are right about DNA not necessarily being the true indicater of family–family consists of those people who truly have your back, who care about you, who offer you support. I have always told my students this: if you can’t get what you need from your biological family, create your own–friends, neighbors, teachers, ministers– whoever has your best interests at heart.
    Good luck to you in the future.

  3. Great Article, thank you. If you come from a dysfunctional family and they’re making you miserable, cut them off like gangreen!

  4. carie blumound

    I think that its very sweet. I wish my parents could appricate my accomplishments or my awards that I recive… i hope they read this! =)

  5. carie blumound

    My daughter had to do a family prodject for schoool one week.Then one day she had asked me what the TRUE meaning of family was I said “Family is the people who are related to you”, but i guess i was wrong.

  6. You are such a talented writer i am 19 and my biological family treated me badly and i got put into the foster system . this article really inspires me

  7. Awww… this is a very nice article 🙂 …. My mum is soon going to abandon me and my brother and my dad is working his **** off and its only a few months left for her stay ….. my grandma past away and it hadn’t changed her mind 😦 i sometimes wonder if she ever had cared

  8. Thank u, I at times I battle to express the way I feel and the great disappointment I have experienced from my so called family…but your wording is to the point with a clear message and brought tears to my eyes because of the abuse I have experienced from these people who profess to be my family and love me…and your wording expressed exactly how I feel but could never put the words to it…Thank you

  9. I can relate to you almost everything you said. Its sad parents have to be like that. My parents didn’t raise me. Their old friends did. They gave me the best dam life they could. They were up there in age but I loved it. No more beatings no more evil looks from my mom. My mother hated me for some reason. I still dont know why today. I am 31 now. Haven’t seen them in almost 11 months.

  10. I agree with you 100 percent. I have a family but have always felt alone. Even now, my family consists of two faced back stabbers, liers, cheaters, thieves, junkies and just rotten people. I would have been better off if I were an orfan. Strangers have treated me better then these blood relatives.

  11. You know what blood isn’t what you think they are to me people in the streets do care and love you more and treat you better I come from experience don’t get me wrong I love my family but there not right there back stabber’s and you can’t trust them either family will bring you down the most honestly my true family is my kids and the Lord….

  12. Funny how even if some of this refers to me ,losing my mom took part of my soul.. and she had two personalies one loved me and the other hated me..But losing her hurts soon bad EVERYDAY..

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