Category Archives: Life
Explanations to unidentified reasons as to why parents blame you, the child, for everything wrong in THEIR lives.
Throughout life, everyone has problems with their parents, from the most perfect family to the most shallowly disoriented. Often times, from the parents’ perspective, it’s safe to assume that your child is off doing things that he/she should not be doing, of course. Although that is the safest thing to assume, it isn’t fair and it isn’t right, because it’s not always true.
Every parent exerts respective authority to the best of his knowledge with hopes of being an adequate role model. It is safe to say that no one can be 100% at anything, no matter who they may be. Having said this, I’d like to proudly point out that parents are defective a whole lot more than they presume! A WHOLE LOT!
But before you jump at my throat for unjustly slandering your perfect parent, hear me out. No matter whom you are, you are bound to wrongfully expel some anger and rage toward those who do not deserve it. For example, if you are working immensely for the better part of your day, your “lovely” boss is yelling at you, and you’ve just learned that you’ll have to continue using the bus as transportation to work for another week because your car is getting a full tune-up from that accident that wasn’t your fault, then you are expected to have at least a tiny bit of anger bottled up inside. Anger that, for the most part, will be thrown at the wrong people.
As a person, I know that everyone has some steam they’d like to blow off once in a while. I understand. I understand you just fine, parents. But what I DON’T deduce from all this, nor choose to accept your judgment as a reasonable answer is, “Why do you discharge your fury on those you love most?” What I mean is, from all of the people you hate, and the hundreds of strangers you see every day, why’d you decide to make your loved ones most miserable? If family comes first, why do you put them last?
The reason is targets. Everyone, even you and I, have targets on who we take our anger out on. Usually, it’s somebody we come in contact with every day; a co-worker, a classmate, or in this case, a family member. Adults pick their children (or spouse) as targets because they are the most qualified candidates for the job. How could they not be!? From a parent’s point of view, you will never get in any serious trouble for yelling or punishing your child, you have complete control over them AND they get mad when you punish them. I’ll give you the basic breakdown: Parents wrongfully punish their children so they can feel better about their useless lives. They have nobody to boss around, so they control their children. Plain and simple. Making someone else feel bad makes you feel good! It’s human nature! Although the more stress you have, from work, school, pressured life, etc., the more you tend to save for later. Using your child as target practice for anger-release techniques grows and spreads in a person’s subconscious faster than wildfire. More anger means more hatred toward your children, which, in turn, means more relief and release for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I am no therapist. If you’re looking for a specific solution that involves “5 Easy Steps” to relinquish your anger in a positive way, you are sadly mistaken. I cannot, nor can anyone else, give you that formula. There is no specific recipe for fixing family relationships because every individual’s family is different. We are all different; that’s what constructs our unique components. So, for me to tell you how you should behave with and around your children would be to unwillingly alter yourself. Then this would all be pointless, wouldn’t it? Just like robots.
I have no specific answer, although here are my “5 Easy Steps” that apply to the general population:
- Do not mistreat the ones you love most, self-explanatory.
- Parents, don’t find false reasons to punish your children, find other ways of releasing anger.
- The children of parents (which is everybody), stand up to your “tyrants” and remind them that you’re not just some random piece of trash off the street, you are their child.
- When choosing a target, make sure it’s someone that you have reason to hate, or no reason to love.
- STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. STOP BLAMING OTHERS. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY!
Comment and rate. =)
7-20-10: Initial release.
If any of you guys may know, I am a huge fan of do it yourself or learn for yourself type of philosophy. Because that is too many words, I just simplify it to “Don’t be a tool” mantra.
What does that even mean to be a tool? In short, it means that you are just following the motions. You are being used by someone else to do someone else’s job. A good example is the wise old saying: “Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he shall eat forever” , (or something like that). The bottom line is I love to learn for my own because I cannot rely on others to help me get my work done.
As a person who runs this blog, and a youtube account, my time is very precious to me. If you ever get a chance to talk to me online, you will notice that I will say this a lot of the time. You may ask me to watch this video or read this website or whatever, and most of the time I will simply deny your request.
The 5 minutes I spend watching your youtube video about a “double rainbow”, I can use those same 5 minutes to learn a subject to better myself. In fact, every single youtube tutorial that you see on gamedexterity is a tutorial that I have gone through myself. I only speak from experience, and by doing it myself, I have learnt special tricks or learned how to overcome certain difficulties that other teachers may not know themselves.
What I want you to do is ask yourself: “Is there something I can do by myself instead of relying on something else?” I bet there is something you can do about it. After all, by learning how to do something, not only can you do it when you want, you might be able to do it better, faster, and cheaper than the other guy!
Here are some good real life examples:
- Instead of buying hamburgers all the time, you learn how to make your own.
- Instead of renting or buying games all the time, you copy them and play it on your modded console (yes, illegal but people do it all the time)
- Instead of relying on someone to make you a video intro, you learn how to do the tools so you can make your own video intro to the best of your liking.
- Instead of paying ridiculous money to buy a stock computer, you learn how to use the same amount of money or less to build a better, faster, and more powerful PC.
And the list goes on and on. In short, by learning how to do things by yourself, you are becoming a better person. However, you are not a good teacher until you try to teach the subject to someone else.
By doing so, very soon you will realize what you don’t know because if the student does not understand what you are saying or asks you a question that you don’t know the answer to *gasp* then you need to continue your education. 🙂
Do you have a good example of where you learnt something on your own and was proud about it? Tell us about it!
7-16-10: Initial Release.
Since 7-14-10, I have been in a wonderful California city called San Diego for some business trip. In particular, I was out with some fellow colleagues to visit a customer to discuss a future opportunity, as well as spend two days doing product training. It was during this time at dinner while having a few beers that we started to talk about the internal difficulties within our roles in our company, and that is when we started to talk about internal politics and all this BS that goes on in today’s corporate world.
I’ll spare you the details, but it all basically down to this: The customer has an idea and we were there to help him figure out a solution. Granted, we cannot commit to a date when it can be done, but we said we will look into it. The issue I have is that when I go back to the office and pitch this idea to my supervisor and other Engineering groups, there may or may not be a possibility to see this idea through, whether that is due to internal resources, finances, or whatever. Here we are at an opportunity that will result in millions, and I may have some undisclosed roadblocks to figure out.
In the end, its all about internal politics and just other crap that I simply call BS. Do you know what I am talking about? Maybe you have seen this BS game within your family, with your friends, significant other, or wherever else in life.
The problem with the whole BS game is that you may lie all you want, or you may try to stretch a white lie or whatever as long as you can. Eventually, the other person is going to figure out your game and may try to BS you, or better yet, you get caught.
Remember the story about the boy who cried wolf? In this story, a boy is in charge of taking care a herd of sheep, and every day he says “Wolf! Wolf! Come!” and all the village run up to the top of the hill and see no wolf and the boy is crying in laughter.
Well, one day there was a real wolf and the boy cried wolf and no one came. Well, the sheep got slaughtered and now the boy is in deep trouble. Same thing anywhere else in life. If you screw someone over, your credibility is ruined and the next time you have something honest to say are they going to believe you?
Trust is one of those things that once it is broken, it is hard in life to regain it back unless you work through a miracle. This is the world of BS that I am talking about, and its more clearly evident if you are working in an environment where you see politics going on.
I could just be rambling here, but I thought it would be interesting to talk about because this was something I just noticed recently here in my trip in San Diego as I began to talk about life with my colleagues and discussing reality from fiction. How about you? Do you remember where you were caught in a world of BS and it turned out horribly wrong? Let’s hear about it!
Stripping oneself of emotional beliefs ultimately leads to the inability to possess judgment. In simpler words, people often try to detach themselves from their emotions because they believe it will make them stronger. In reality though, emotions are coping mechanisms; ways to remove a burden or two, which allows room for rational thinking.
People often think that ridding themselves of emotions will make them stronger and able to handle anything; this is not true the least bit. Truth of the matter is that emotions give you the Human Element; leisure, happiness, momentary judgment, etc. To cage one’s feelings is close to being a robot: You have a formula for everything; an equation to every situation. This would not work because even the most stubborn person will admit that life is unpredictable and there is no real way of controlling it.
NOT ENOUGH EMOTION
Relating to examples from my life, I once was an eerie teenager with a deep fear of emotional thinking; I was afraid of getting hurt. I reconciled the same inhuman behavior, and before I knew it, I was more machine than man. I have no intention of sounding like the Terminator, but it was quite true. I extirpated all “irrational” thoughts from my mind as well as my life.
For a good period of time, I believed, with all my heart, that I was doing the right thing by lunging my humanistic beliefs aside and trying everything by a belief system I created (that comes later). Now, when I look back on it, I feel like I’ve wasted a good part of my life. True enough I’m only 17, but high school is a time to be cherished. I gaze back at the past and see that all the times I’ve attempted to be right and true to life’s equation looks like a sham; a sorry excuse for fear and failure. All of those years I thought I was doing the right thing, but in fact, my life was more damaged than the average person’s.
I’m not saying I regret those years (I regret nothing), but I certainly wish I’d realized the error of my ways sooner rather than later. The events that occurred blossomed me into the person I am today, but I could have easily avoided the death traps had I known the simplicity of nearly all of the events that transpired.
TOO MUCH EMOTION
Being a machine is one thing, beyond human is another. At this state, a person is making him/her feel bad for the simplest of things; drama would fall under this category; and although things might suggest to be “The most important thing of your life!”, I assure you, it isn’t. Gander at the big picture here, and don’t be stuck in the present. Ask yourself, “Will it be important 10 years from now?”
People who let their feelings get the best of them often find themselves giving into peer pressure or doing things they would never actually do just to fit in. Over thinking is also common among these fine critters; situations that are normally child’s play turn into exhausting mental dribble.
I suppose having a proper amount of balance in anything is essential: The right foods with the right diet, plenty of sleep due to hard work, etc. This is especially true when it comes to emotions though. You don’t want to turn into a zombie robot, but you don’t want to go lower than a willow tree because of the slightest occurrence.
Balance, the key is balance, not too little, not too much.
6-29-10: Initial release.
Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine, and I heard one of the most ridiculous things that I just had to share it because it was so ridiculous and the fact that it was true just made me grimace every time I tell it.
My friend uses Skype, and this will be his third Skype account. What is so ridiculous about that? Well, let me give you the background information. So apparently with Skype, you can tell it to remember your password and autologin into the program. What was embarrassing to find out was that my friend had to reformat his computer due to viruses, and by doing so, he lost the account information to Skype.
What I am trying to say is that he didn’t know the password to his own account because he had the Skype program remember it for him. The sad part is he has done this twice already, and when I logged in over the weekend I got a friend invitation from him under a new Skype ID?!
I told him that Skype does have a password retrieval service on their website, and instead of going to Skype.com to do the forgotten password, he just ended up signing up for a new account. WTF?!
My Skype account is important to me as I have over 80+ contacts. If I had a concussion and somehow forgot the password to my account, I would not be caught with my pants down and I would have used the password retreival feature in a second. I would not even question it.
My friend only has 3 friends on his buddy list, so making a new account for whatever reason beyond belief is not a big deal for him. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.
I thought instant messenging your co-worker who sits across the cubicle was sad, but I think this one wins the prize!
How about you? Do you have a real life story that is so ridiculous yet true that it pains you to tell it? We want to hear it!
Many times, whether it’s writer’s block or just blank thoughts, we can’t find any descent forms of inspiration. Simply, nothing comes to mind and you find yourself unable to put pen to paper, or digits to keyboard, or to click a simple button on a camera. Whatever your artistic interests may be, there are a few key places that a person can look. These places, when searched systematically, have endless pools of fresh ideas; an eternal stream of data, just waiting for someone to transform it into magic.
Family and Friends
When we are depressed, we often go to one (if not both) of the two sources and ask for help and advice. Well, inspiration can work the same way. They don’t have to be noted of it; just behave like you would generally, but examine yourself and the world around you more thoroughly and remember what or how you feel. Normally, you would think nothing of it, because family is SUPPOSED to make you feel safe and secure, and friends are SUPPOSED to make you feel excited and cheerful. In these harsh times though, where the cost of inspiration is skyrocketing through the roof, you can use everyday experiences and people, such as your family and friends, to give you the boost you desire.
Sun: the natural light bulb. Wind: the natural air conditioner. Earth: the natural home. Without knowing it, we have isolated ourselves from most of the outside world. It might not feel that way because we have the freedom to decide to stay in or go out, but needless to say, we choose the less intelligent one. Writers read much off of the internet and photographers look for photos on the internet for one MAIN reason: to hijack ideas and transform them into their own. A little thesaurus or Photoshop, and half an hour later you have a perfectly “creative and exclusive” piece of work. It’s not a crime to get thoughts from similar thoughts, but it might be better to start somewhere else first. Nature leads us to find amazing landscapes, marvelous creatures, and an infinite amount of inspiration. The trees, the sun, the moon, wildlife, etc. There are unfathomable amounts of dreams just waiting to become reality.
From good to bad, music is in a category all on its own. Without a doubt, music can bring us from the most unearthly hellish slums, to pure enjoyment and ecstasy. The moment you press play, you can feel enlightenment travel through those headphones, through the air. It tweaks your brain, making you take notice to things that seemed unreal or impossible before. It isn’t a scattered form of art, but more a language. It is a form of energy, and you are the converter. It builds up inside you, until you are full, then it seeps through, exiting your body in form of words or images. You are borrowing its power to make power of your own. It has the capability to make a person with a metal leg run a marathon; it can influence a town, city, state, country, or even the world! Its capabilities are limitless, all you have to do is put them together.
Site for photographers: http://www.alphacoders.com/
Positively inspirational artists: AC/DC, Aerosmith, Beatles, Bob Marley, Guns N’ Roses, Heartless Bastards, Joy Division, Interpol, Killers, Led Zeppelin, MGMT, Rolling Stones, Utada Hikaru, White Stripes, etc.
Clearly put, most fear is created by your own mind, and in most cases is harmless. Understanding is the key to solving life’s problems (such as fear). One way to beat what you’re afraid of is by using this little thing that most of us are gifted with: logic. We use logic to solve our everyday problems, so why can’t it work for this? Use logical knowledge to outsmart your fear. Take the dark for example; many are afraid of the darkness, but we clearly understand that it is simply the daytime without light.
Try to find out why you’re afraid of what you’re afraid of. Your journey could lead you to discover that what you’re afraid of isn’t so frightening after all.
Most of it is just a psychological game; if you can dig deep within your mind, you will surely discover the root of your horrors. It can only scare you as much as you let it. Keep your mentality strong and you will surely overcome the dreadful situation you are in.
The best thing about conquering your fear is that it may eliminate other fears. For example, riding a roller coaster could ultimately erase your fears of roller coasters AND heights. Hit two birds with one stone. There are also questions that can mentally stabilize you such as, “What’s the worst that can happen?” or “Can it really harm me in any way?” More times than others, facing your fears head-on is the most resilient solution, and the quickest.
– Fear stops success
– Face your fears head-on
– Most fear is psychological, and unable to harm you
– Understand your fears before you act upon them
And don’t forget to smile!
4-11-10: Initial release.
Would you believe that some days I have no idea what to write? Then suddenly something comes along my path, and just like that, I have a new article to write about.
I came home today after a trip visiting the family, and I log onto Trillian real quick on my netbook. Within 5 seconds, I had 5 IMs from five different people. Granted, 2 of the MSN IMs were spam bots, but the other 3 IMs were real. One was a person who wanted to send me a music video, and the other two IMs were offline messages.
Of the two offline messages I got, one of them was thought provoking. I will summarize it below:
It seems like you are hardly online anymore. What happened?
This is a very interesting question, because its open ended, and I have so many ways to spin this.
4-4-10: Initial release.
I hope everyone is enjoying Easter today with your friends, family, and loved ones. Being that today is Easter, and the weather is so nice out I decided its time to start anew. Spring is here, and each year we “trick” ourselves into thinking that we can become one year better than we were before, and I truly believe in this philosophy.
How about we take a trip down the aisle and learn more about multitasking, what it is, and how we can improve it? I am a proud supporter of efficient multitasking, and I can hopefully show you how I think and how I behave in life so that maybe you can learn from what I do, and maybe teach me a few tricks along the way. So let’s get started!