[SNL] Jizz in My Pants!

I’m sorry, but this video is frickin hilarious.  I give SNL props on this one.  Check it out below!

Are You Gay…?

A funny little picture I found trolling the webs.

Have fun!
Voltaire

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday. Volume 5.

In light of a recent purchase of mine, my usual YouTube trolling stumbled me into this video. At first, I couldn’t stand the guy. But if you watch it ’til the end, you’ll see why I’m posting it.

This is an even better response video:

Finally, as a tribute to Will Smith’s awesome new movie (saw it last night, worth 7 bucks!!):

God speed, and Best wishes.

¥

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday. Volume 4.

Well, it’s that time of the month ladies and gentlemen. No that’s not what I mean! I mean, it’s time for GN’s Gutbuster Thursday!

To kick things off, I would like to share an oldie but goodie. It’s mild, but it’s a classic:

Wii Injuries 2: Wii Harder:

The Matrix: Deleted Scene:

This shows, truly, why Trix should remain for and only for kids:

And for the nostalgic, Weebl was kind enough to pay tribute to one of the best videos of the 80s:

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/paper/
[ Sources: YouTube ; LegoRobotComics.com ; Weebls-Stuff.com ]
God speed, and Best wishes.

¥

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday. Volume 3.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it’s the first of May. GTA IV has hit the shelves, spring is screwed up and it’s time for GN’s Gutbuster Thursday!

I would like to set a pseudo-theme for this edition. Classic memes. Yes, you’ve seen them, you’ve pooped your precious trolling pants, and it’s time to revisit it. There are millions, if not billions and trillions of memes out there, and every single one is considered to be ranked at the top, so, I give you a collection of those revered by myself, and those around me. Let’s start with some classic pictures.

Watch out!:

No, there will be no Rolling of Ricks in this post. However:

This next one is a shout out to a special someone; I totally remember them being THIS cool:

The longest joke in the world – read it all, DON’T skip ahead!

http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

How about YTMND! (make sure you open in Internet Explorer and refresh if no sound)

http://vadercoaster.ytmnd.com/

Finally, I give you a classic meme in internet history. Watch out for an R Kelly reference at 1:28!

http://www.omgvids.com/indian.php

God speed, and Best wishes.

¥

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday. Volume 2.

April Fool’s is just a couple days behind us, and I hope you all had a fantastic time pranking your friends or being pranked. I know I did! I’m sure many of you enjoyed being Rick Rolled.

As you know, it’s the first Thursday of the month, so this week’s Life post from GN will be themed for humor, and quite an appropriate week at that!

To mix in some tech, I give you a list of the latest virus definitions:

1. The George Bush Virus – Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
2. The John Kerry Virus – Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.
3. The Ronald Reagan Virus – Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
4. The George Bush Virus – Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
5. The John Kerry Virus – Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.
6. The Ronald Reagan Virus – Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
7. The Clinton Virus – Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
8. The Al Gore Virus – Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
9. The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus – Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
10. The Lewinsky Virus – Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
11. The Michael Jackson Virus – Attacks only minor files.
12. The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus – Terminates some files, leaves… but will be back!
13. The Mike Tyson Virus – Quits after two bytes.
14. The Oprah Winfrey Virus – Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB. The Ellen Degeneres Virus – Disks can no longer be inserted.
15. The Prozac Virus – Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.
16. The Clinton Virus – Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
17. The Al Gore Virus – Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
18. The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus – Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
19. The Lewinsky Virus – Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
20. The Michael Jackson Virus – Attacks only minor files.
21. The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus – Terminates some files, leaves… but will be back!
22. The Mike Tyson Virus – Quits after two bytes.
23. The Oprah Winfrey Virus – Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB. The Ellen Degeneres Virus – Disks can no longer be inserted.
24. The Prozac Virus – Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.

[ Source: The Manbottle Library, found by Crystal ]
I’ve recently began learning Visual Basic, a programming language that’s, well, basic! Thus, I have adapted some programmer mentalities. I hope this draws some of the wonderful programmers out there to our blog. 🙂

[ Source: Props to http://www.xkcd.com for maintaining a hilarious web comic ]

[ Source: Osnews.com Comics (they have plenty of other great comics!) ]

You can find more here: Osnews.com Comics Page 1

And here: Osnews.com Comics Page 2

Here is a business plan that absolutely, cannot fail. I’m seriously thinking about trying it : – )

[ Source: CollegeHumor.com
Last, but most definitely not least, this one is a REAL gut buster. However, it requires that you finish all of your work and close all of your internet stuff, because only your undivided focus shall allow this mind blowing comedy get through. Have you closed everything but this tab? Finished your work? Remember – don’t worry, it won’t hurt.:

[[ The most famous comedic incident in the world ]]

Well loyal and casual readers of The Underground, thank you for joining me on another That’s GN humor post, and happy late April Fool’s day!

God speed, and Best wishes.

¥

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday

My apologies for the delay in today’s article, we’ve been having some technical difficulties which seem to be cleared up for now.

It’s that time of the month, no not that one! The first Thursday of the month means GN’s Gutbuster Thursday. To start off, I will share a list of the 10 dumbest questions in song lyric history.

#10: What you gon’ do with all that junk?/All that junk inside your trunk?

We may all know this one – Black Eyed Peas – “My Humps”

#9: He was a boy/She was a girl/Can I make it any more obvious?

Avril Lavigne – “Sk8r Boi”

#8: Saying “we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast”/ Huh? Yall eat pieces of shit? What’s the basis?

Kanye West – “Jesus Walks”

#7: Baby I’m confused/Well, wasn’t that you in my bed? When love finally said good-bye/Where was I?

David Hasselhoff – “Where Was I?”

#6: Are you Johnnie Ray … Are you Fay Wray … Are you Stingray … Are you Jimmy Ray/Who wants to know?/Who wants to know about me?

Jimmy Ray – “Who Wants To Know?”

#5: Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Enrique Iglesias – “Do You Know?”

#4: Why you sleepin’ with ya eyes closed?

Destiny’s Child (featuring Timbaland) – “Get On the Bus”

#3: Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash? Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash?

Nelly Furtado (featuring Timbaland) – “Promiscuous”

#2: Should I stay or should I go now?

The Clash – “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

#1: Why don’t we do it in the road?

The Beatles – “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?”

[ Source: [[Thanks to CRKD SkitZo]] – http://www.cracked.com/article_15647_10-dumbest-questions-in-song-lyric-history.html ; http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tas/2008/tas080227.gif ]

If anyone knows what this guy is talking about:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ETSnFbmVJsY

God speed, and Best wishes.

¥

[Misc. Monday] If World War II Was an RTS…

Hey everyone. I was trawling the web and by chance, I found a funny army joke.

So, what would’ve happened if WWII really had been a real time strategy? Check it out! (Warning: You might need to brush up on your WWII info when reading)

—————-

If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

[GG] GN’s Gutbuster Thursday.

Welcome to a new addition to GN’s weekly column! Humor is a healthy, extremely important part of life, so starting today every first Thursday of the month I will be posting some sort of humor oriented material.

This week, we have church bloopers. These are real lines from church/religious ads, postings or signs. Where they are from remains a mystery.

1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
2. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
3. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please: use the back door.
4. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
5. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
6. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
7. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
8. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
9. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Adams.
10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

Bean supper followed by music. Music ladies and gentlemen.

Other classifieds:

1. 3-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
2. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3. Vacation special: Have your house exterminated.
4. Dinner Specials: Turkey $3.25 Chicken or Beef $2.75 Children $2.00.
5. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
6. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
7. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
8. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
9. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
10. Stock up and save. Limit: one.
11. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
12. Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
13. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
14. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
15. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
16. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Finally, I will leave off with a single, coma inducing picture. Enjoy!

[ Source : personal e-mail ]

God Speed and Best wishes.

¥

OS Showdown: Windows 2000 vs. Linux

Once again, thanks to Mr. Briggs over at BBSpot. ~Voltaire

Names – Linux, for reasons I’d rather not get into, I always think of eunuchs when I hear the word Linux.  I think it would’ve been better if Linus’ brother Malcom would’ve developed the OS.  Then at least it would’ve been funny – Malcomix. Windows 2000 makes me think “Wow, that Windows movie had a lot of sequels,” or “Gee, better get that product namer a Pulitzer for originality.” While neither rivals TRSDOS, I begrudgingly have to give this one to Microsoft.

Advantage – Windows 2000

Domain Names – Windows2000.com redirects you to a Windows 2000 product page on the Microsoft site. I’m not sure I’d trust my mission critical apps to a company that can’t even afford to give its flagship OS its own domain name.  Linux.com on the other hand avoids the Microsoftian subterfuge and is just what it says.  It’s a nice looking site with lots of good information. But wait a minute let’s take a look at the other side of the issue.  Windows2000sucks.com is a pretty sad “sucks” site, Microsoft can’t even do that right.  It doesn’t even look functional.  Linuxsucks.com is another great Linux site.

Advantage – Linux

Mascots – The Linux mascot is Tux the penguin. A cute little fellow, but very vulnerable to killer whales.   Now a orca, that would be a cool mascot, but I guess Sea World already has that. Windows 2000 doesn’t really have a mascot unless you call that flying multi-colored window a mascot. It might get a little bloody on some broken shards of glass, but I think even a penguin could destroy a pansy window.

Advantage – Linux

Search Engines – A search for “Linux is great” on Google yields 1,080,000 results. A search for “Windows 2000 is Great” yields 1,050,000. An apparent victory for Linux.  Not so fast.  A search for “Linux Sucks” yields 114,000 results, and a search for “Windows 2000 Sucks” gets 66,700.  Why do I envision Microsoft engineers setting up thousands of web pages with just “Linux Sucks” on them so they could win this round.   While not being so great, it just doesn’t suck as much.

Advantage: Windows 2000

Magic Eight Ball – I decided that I needed an unbiased opinion on which is better. What’s more unbiased than a Magic 8 Ball? I asked the Magic 8 Ball – “Is Windows 2000 better than Linux?” The response: “MY SOURCES SAY NO”  That’s pretty clear. Just to be sure I rephrased the question. “Is Linux better than Windows 2000?” The response “AS I SEE IT YES”. Good to see that the Magic 8 Ball hasn’t succumbed to the Microsoft Propaganda Machine.

Advantage – Linux

Fuck Test – Fuck Linux! No doesn’t sound right. Fuck Microsoft! Ooh yeah, just right baby.

Advantage – Linux.

Conclusions

Final Score: Linux 4 – Windows 2000 2.

It doesn’t get any clearer than that. Linux is two times better than Windows 2000. Therefore I am proud to award Linux the BBspot Technical Excellence Award.