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Real Patient Charts.

wrongfullydiagnosed1.jpg

ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENTS CHARTS:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1983.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insig-nificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
21. I saw your patient today,who is still under our car for physical therapy.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
27. Large brown stool ambulating in hall.
28. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

[ Source : anonymous, but not me of course ]

God speed and Best wishes.

¥

Kid Violated While Playing Videogames from Dog

Must see! How can you not laugh at this?

Words of the Holiday

We haven’t really giving our readers many more words to ponder on, so here are the words of the holiday from Urban Dictionary.

purge the cabin (November 25)

Rolling the windows down on a vehicle for some fresh air, usually after one of the passengers has passed gas.

Gawd damn was that foul! Purge the cabin before we sufficate back here!

 

sike (November 24)

The immediately preceding statement is false and was told to mislead.

I really miss that show Blossom … SIKE!

Unwrap the soap (November 23)

Being the first one of your hotel roomates to get up in the morning and take a shower.

Dude, I’m sleeping in. It’s your turn to unwrap the soap.

 

Poultrarian (November 22)

A poultrarian is a person whose diet consists of vegetarian fare and select cuts of chicken and turkey, typically lean and boneless. They do not enjoy red meat, seafood, or any other meat in their diet.
Poultrarian comes from the combination of poultry and vegetarian.

A poultrarian would never eat a steak, but would enjoy chicken stir-fry.

The History of Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a traditional North American holiday to give thanks, traditionally to God, for the things that one has at the conclusion of the harvest season. Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and on the second Monday of October in Canada.

They say that the first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims and the Native Americans up in Plymouth, MA. That, for the most part, seems to be true. But what foods did they eat? Historians aren’t completely certain, but we know that the pilgrims weren’t piling up on pumpkin pie or grave-ing their mashed potatoes. There was certain more meat than vegies, especially since the Pilgrims had access to lobster and seal.

Most people think that Thanksgiving was a yearly celebration. The fact of the matter is that the feast was a one time, three day long thing, mainly due to the fact that it was a harvest festival. The feast celebrated the Pilgrims first good harvest and the help of the natives. They were giving thanks that they survived the year and were ready for the winter. The feast was most likely earlier than our current Thanksgiving. The early settlers of Plymouth Colony in Massachusetts were particularly grateful to Squanto, the Native American and former British slave who taught them how to both catch eel and grow corn and also served as their native interpreter. Without Squanto’s assistance, the settlers might not have survived in the New World.

However, there have been other records of Thanksgiving, or Harvest Festivals, before the Pilgrims. One is the 1619 Thanksgiving by the Berkeley Hundred in VA. (More info)

For some interesting Thanksgiving History vids, Click Here!

For more history, Click Here!

Alright, that’s the gist of the history. Now, what is Thanksgiving without Turkey? I know you want to learn about cooking the perfect Turkey, so I found a video just for you.

But come on, we need to have a good laugh now and then!

HOW TO COOK A TURKEY PRANK CALL:

Selecting a Thanksgiving Turkey Prank:

And now, we have a special message:

Hey Underground Members! Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks for all the support!

We would just like to announce that The Underground now has a Donate Page!!!

We appreciate any donation and all donations amounts!!!

Here are a few donation links that go straight to the PayPal page. You can also find all these at: http://geocities.com/musicmasteria/donate

$5 Donation

$10 Donation

$15 Donation

$20 Donation

Your Choice Donation

THANK YOU and enjoy sleeping off that turkey!

“Give thanks for the art of giving…We Are The Underground!”

~The Underground Staff

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We’re not done yet! Tomorrow is Black Friday, the cheapest shopping day of the year. Best deals, best buys! We have posted about this before, so as a reminder: Click here to view all the Black Friday advertisements!

And that wraps up this years Thanksgiving Special!

Cheers,

Voltaire

Office Prank Gone Wrong

‘Nuff said.

What’s The Number For 911 Again?

 

“One of 2000’s biggest book successes was the sleeper best-seller What’s the Number for 911′, which went back to press three times in less than a month last fall. Now, faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up of more real-life calls to the country’s emergency operators.What’s the Number for 911 Again’ answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. “Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house'” “Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree'” Amazing and hilarious!”

This is a really funny book about people and their inactions with the police. Unfortunately, I can’t paste it here, so you might want to check it out at the original source:

http://books.google.com/books?id=_lwIOcpBB_oC&pg=PA74&lpg=PA74&dq=ron+vanname&source=web&ots=PZnMWEoHuw&sig=bBrfIm_SwHj6dz4D61Ok-TWv7DM#PPA36,M1

If you liked the excerpts, by all means, buy that book.

[In Living Color] Homie the Clown at the Carnival

I grew up in the 90’s, and as a little kid I watch a show on Fox called “In Living Color”.  I remember watching Homie the Clown, and now with youtube, I can re-experience the laughs I once had.

Here is an episode of Homie the Clown just being funny at the carnival.  Remember…Homie don’t play that! 

The Halloween Special!

Well, Happy Halloween everybody! Sorry for the lack of candy, but if you really want some… Click here!

Haha, well, if you just got pwndizzled, its Halloween! Lighten up!

We have got a very special post for you today, it has lots of neat info. The more you read, the more happy you will be.

Since, its Halloween, I have decided to post a little bit of history.

“Halloween, or Hallowe’en, is a holiday celebrated on the night of October 31. Traditional activities include trick-or-treating, Halloween festivals, bonfires, costume parties, visiting “haunted houses”, carving jack-o-lanterns, and viewing horror films. Halloween originated from the Pagan festival Samhain, celebrated among the Celts of Ireland and Great Britain[citation needed]. Irish and Scottish immigrants carried versions of the tradition to North America in the nineteenth century. Other western countries embraced the holiday in the late twentieth century. Halloween is now celebrated in several parts of the western world, most commonly in Ireland, the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, and the United Kingdom and occasionally in parts of Australia and New Zealand.

The term Halloween (and its alternative rendering Hallowe’en) is shortened from All-hallow-even, as it is the eve of “All Hallows’ Day”,[1] also which is now known as All Saints’ Day.

Many European cultural traditions, in particular Celtic cultures, hold that Halloween is one of the liminal times of the year when spirits can make contact with the physical world, and when magic is most potent (according to, for example, Catalan mythology about witches and Scottish and Irish tales of the Sídhe).”

Some historians trace the origin of Halloween back to the Celtic people of pre-medieval Europe. The Celts of Ireland, Britain, and France divided their year into halves: the “light half,” roughly consisting of the spring and summer months when days are longer and nights are shorter, and the “dark half,” roughly consisting of the autumn and winter months when days are shorter and nights are longer. Celts celebrated the end of the light half of the year with the festival of “Samhain” (pronounced sah-wen), which they observed during the October/November lunar cycle. Following the Roman conquest of Britain, British Celts adopted the Julian calendar and fixed the date of Samhain’s observance to November 1.

Costumes and treats were a traditional part of the Celtic celebration. And while Samhain began as a strictly Celtic festival, it is probable that aspects of Roman religion were incorporated into its observance over the four centuries of Roman rule in Britain (43-410 AD). For example, Pomona was the Roman goddess of fruit trees and gardens. Her symbol was an apple. Some scholars believe this may explain how candied apples and bobbing for apples became associated with Halloween (as Samhain was later renamed “

(For more info, go to the sources: Wikipedia:Halloween and Popular Issues)

Alright, if you made it this far, good job. If you cheated… well, you will live with the shame forever. So, onward!

Now that you have been scared (maybe?) and well informed, here are some Halloween Pranks that will hopefully set you laughing.

I must say, that was pretty funny. I wanted to tell you all a bit about the costumes I have seen today. I could rattle on, but not to waste your time, I will tell you above the Transformer. Yes, some guy dressed up as a Transformer. Optimus Prime. No joke. He made the costume himself, spending over $300 on cardboard. And yes, he could transform into the truck or into Optimus. I kid you not. To view the quick video proof I have, download this file here

Now, with the news I was planning to tell you.

The IRC Passwords Guide has been released! We have released it on our forums (which have been opened as well) on theunderground.antiblog.com

You can use lordmega.therevisited.com if you can’t use the above link, as we are still having issues with our FTP and the current link host.

Please, do post your comments, and other questions and posts on the forums, as we realize that it is tough to have a good discussion on the blog.

If you enjoyed this article, and other things on this blog, please visit our sister site. Also clicking on the banner below, signing up, and earning points is the ticket to getting free stuff! I have personally tried it! It works!

Word of the Day: Dotcomrade

 

Today’s word of the day is… DOTCOMRADE

 

Meaning: An Internet acquaintance; someone you chat with but have never actually met.

 

“So who’s this NrdPowr32 guy?”
“I dunno. Just a dotcomrade of mine.”