These past few days I’ve done a lot of listening, whether it was friends, family, or just people I interact with on the internet. What I’ve come to realize is that everyone has a story to tell from their own personal experience.
Don’t you hate it when you are at a social gathering, and you are about to tell a story and then your friend or perhaps your Mom or girlfriend jumps in and takes over the story and finishes it for you?
Or better yet, you are telling about a project you did at school or work and you said “I did this and I did that” only to have your colleague nudge you to say “No, he meant we did this and that …”. So you just blush and continue right? Or do you start to collect resentment?
This week in Life, I will give relay some steps that will help you get on track to being the leader in situations both in your everyday life and at work or school, when everyone else is slacking off. It will not only give you leadership skill, but it will contribute to getting yourself in motivation to do the things you’ve wanted to complete before you die; to fulfill some things you’ve always wanted to do in your life.
First, a simple list of 8 things you will have to realize and set in motion:
#1: Set expectations. The owner of Hewlett Packard would walk by everyone’s desk in the morning and ask each person “what’s new?” so eventually, everyone everyday would want to come into work saying “I have something good to tell the boss today.” which is why HP is leader in innovation when it comes to the personal pre-built computer.
#2: Focus on what’s important. Do you have kids? Family that’s very dear to you? Friends you would take a bullet for? Your employees or customers or any fellow workmates? There have been many interviews with top CEOs, executives, business owners, that all say they had worked for wealth and fame their whole lives, and when they reach it, they feel like something’s missing, that there’s an emptiness unfilled.
#3: Make room for new leaders. George Lucas did not have the means to make the first Star Wars movie, so he needed the help of Steven Spielberg. Even a coach of a football team has a team of advisers. Don’t try to be the lone wolf. Accept help and collaboration, brainstorming is a required daily exercise with top Japanese executives in a lot of electronics companies. I’ll let their international success speak for itself.
#4: Listen. “…the very essence of leadership has to do with meeting deep human needs on the part of followers. When these needs are met, the leader-follower connection is made and followers will walk the ninth mile for their leaders. When these needs are ignored…followers will do the minimum that is required or actually work against the goals of the leader.” – Mardy Grothe. I’ll let you search his name. Have you ever been in a painful part of life, or faced an extremely tough decision and someone just listened to you talk and you sort of just figured out what to do on your own? I have, and there’s no feeling better than knowing someone helped you help yourself, by not even talking. Granted, not everyone has or can experience this, so it’s vital those people practice it as well. Listening is the core component of any relationship. Casual, business, etc.
Now, name a great leader you’ve followed.
This we look for in a leader include:
One who is fully present – right here, right now.
Provides clarity of vision – “True North”
Someone who validates us and sees our greatness.
Now describe a WOW! experience in your life, a time when you felt fully alive.
#5: You’re always here. The time is always now. What would your life look like if you lived right here, right now and did it consistently? If you haven’t seen the movie “Miracle on Ice”, I highly recommend it. For conversation sake, take a scan over the wiki of the story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_on_Ice Back in the 70’s and 80’s times were tough for America politically especially. The USA prided in our sports teams. At the time, the Soviets had the absolute best hockey team. Well, the US invited them over here, and they beat 9 our of our 10 best NHL teams. The US had assembled a team of the best amateur and collegiate players for the 1980 Olympic Games, and in the locker room before the game, Coach Brooks said something very important: “We’ll play them 10 times. They may win 9. But not tonight. Tonight, we win.” The American team beat the Soviets 4-3 in one of the most memorable games to date.
#6: Make it your time. “Many men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” – Henry David Thoreau. Don’t die without singing your song.
So how come you’re not doing this stuff all the time? Hint: It’s all about dealing with reality.
#7: Deal with reality. The man where this material originates gave a good story about his experience on vacation. He noticed a middle aged woman laying on the beach in with one leg over the chair, just looking very lovely to him. He wanted to go over to her and tell her that, with no other intention, but he felt she might get a little weird about it, and after walking past her, 20 seconds later he said you know what, enough of this and walked back to her and said, “I just had to say, you look very lovely laying there the way you are” and she pushed her sunglasses up, looked at him and said “I can’t believe it. Here I am at 40 feeling old and unattractive, and you come along and tell me something like that. You must be my guardian angel.” In dealing with the reality that he really had no idea what was going to happen, he fought off his “I can’t” attitude and it turned out to be a very good thing.
What is your “I can’t” story that limits you? That is, a self-imposed limitation. Write it out.
“Horn Broken, Watch For Finger” is an actual bumper sticker people have. When someone cuts you off, you have a choice. To waste time getting mad about it, or making the best of the situation. Easier said than done, I know, believe me, I know. But it’s an example, is that part of your “I can’t” story? Part of fighting the “I can’t” attitude is self control. And fighting the urge to be mad at someone who’s totally in the wrong is an excellent exercise for doing so.
Accountability: A person choice to rise above one’s circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results.
You can only take your people where you have already been. That means you have to go first. How can you be more accountable? Write it out.
If you always do
what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get
what you always got.
Einstein defined insanity as doing something over and over again in the same way, expecting the different results.
#8: If you want something different or better, YOU will have to change.
What is your One Thing?
What do you want to Expand?
#1: Set expectations
#2: Focus on what’s important | Provide clarity of vision – True North – Talk about your One Thing
#3: Make room for new leaders
#5: You’re always here. The time is always now. | Be fully present – right here, right now
#6: Make it your time. | Validate – See greatness in others
#7: Deal with reality | Abandon “I can’t” | Take full responsibility
#8: If you want something different or better, YOU will have to change.
1. Write your Personal Vision Statement
2. Write your Personal Mission Statement
3. Be clear about your Higher Purpose
4. Be clear about your Values
5. Define success
6. Write your Stump Speech
(Where you’re going, Why you’re going there & Who’s going with you)
What will you do…
…so that you’ll create the success you want and live the Fully Alive life you were born to live?
#9: CHANGE THE WORLD! Yes I know, we said 8. But, come home to the you that you haven’t yet fully realized. Come home to who you really are.
Source: [Copyright 2005 – 2007 by Jack Altschuler. All rights reserved]