[Misc. Monday] If World War II Was an RTS…
Hey everyone. I was trawling the web and by chance, I found a funny army joke.
So, what would’ve happened if WWII really had been a real time strategy? Check it out! (Warning: You might need to brush up on your WWII info when reading)
If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.
*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
Roosevelt: gj patton
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*
Touchpad for iPhone!
Touchpad for your iPhone or iPod Touch acts as a wireless touch pad for your pc! You can control the mouse on your pc through the iPhone: move the mouse around, click, double-click, and even drag (double click but keep it pressed and then move it around). Vertical scrolling is even possible, by clicking and dragging on the right edge of the iPhone screen.
You can use it to control videos, show pictures, advance slides in a presentations — whatever a regular touchpad can do.
- You need a jailbroken iPhone/iPod Touch with Installer.app on it. Here are some great instructions on how to do this.
- Start Installer.app, and go to Sources. Click “Edit”, and then Add this repository: http://cnp.qlnk.net/
- After the refresh, install Touchpad from the Utilities category.
- Install VNC on the machine you want to control. I recommend TightVNC for Windows and Linux. Mac users should follow these detailed instructions (thanks, Archetype!).
Taken from http://touchpadiphone.blogspot.com/
WTF Wednesday: Use your Wii as a Media Center!
Well, to be honest, I never EVER thought that the Wii would be used as a media center. Of course, the Xbox 360 IS a media center, and the PS3 is powerful enough to do it as well (8 X 3.0 ghz processors? wtf?) and actually has the media center style. All the Wii seems to do besides playing games is browse the net through Opera. WTF?
WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Alright, I don’t want to rewrite what was written at LifeHacker because I don’t want to get anything wrong, miss something, or otherwise mess up said process. So, read on!
Set Up Your PC
To get started, you need to download and install the popular media streaming application, Orb, to your Windows PC. Orb has a fairly straightforward installation process, so just follow along with the instructions. You’ll have to set up an Orb account if this is the first time you’ve used Orb.Once you’ve installed Orb, you should make sure you’re sharing all the content you want. Right-click Orb in the system tray and select Configuration. In the Media tab, you can add every folder on your computer holding anything from video and photos to music and documents (though documents folders are probably a little beyond the scope of your Wii).
When you’re done, test out that it’s worked by pointing your computer’s browser to mycast.orb.com, then log in with the username and password you registered with during installation. If you’re not familiar with Orb from previous posts, what you’re looking at when you log in is the regular web interface. That’s right, in addition to supercharging your Wii, Orb can also stream all of that digital media to any browser. Try listening to some music or watching videos through you browser to make sure everything’s working. (If you’re having troubles, check out Orb’s top 10 troubleshooting questions.)
Orb lets you access any of your music or movies from any browser through this interface, much like the Media Center WebGuide. Unlike WebGuide, though, Orb’s web interface goes into 10-foot control mode when you browse to its interface on your Wii. That’s what we’re going to set up next.
Set Up Your Wii
First, make sure you’ve either installed or updated the Opera-based Wii browser so you’ve got the latest available web browser on your Wii (this is important, since older versions of the Wii browser won’t handle larger video streams as well). So unless you’ve got the latest Opera browser on your Wii, head to the Wii Shop channel, find, and download the browser (if this is the first time you’ve download it, it’ll cost you around $5, or 500 points in the Shopping channel).Now that you’ve done that, head back to your Wii home screen and launch the Internet channel (that’s the browser you just downloaded). Just like you did from your desktop, point your Wii browser to mycast.orb.com. This time, instead of the login screen you saw from your computer, you’ll see the Wii interface, which is larger and optimized for your TV. Log in, and this time you’ll be confronted with the full-on Orb home screen for your Wii.
Before you test out Orb’s streaming media on your Wii, head to Settings -> Stream and make sure Orb is set to stream video in Flash, then save the settings and go back to the home screen. If you properly set up Orb on you’re computer (which is basically a no-brainer), you should now be able to access any of that media from the comfort of your couch through your Wii and Wii remote. (Check the gallery for a better idea of how that all works.)
That means videos you’ve downloaded with BitTorrent, your entire music library, and even TV you’ve recorded with Windows Media Center are now available for streaming to your Wii. If you’ve got a tuner card in your PC, you can even use Orb to schedule recordings and stream live TV. Snazzy, no?
It doesn’t even matter what format your videos are encoded in. Orb transcodes the video on-the-fly to stream it—in the case of our Wii—as a simple Flash video.
Now that your entire digital media library is accessible to your Wii, you can stream any of that content to your living room without introducing a new piece of hardware to your entertainment center. To optimize your Wii Orbing experience, you’ll want to set mycast.orb.com as a favorite on your Wii browser. You should also turn the browser toolbar to hide automatically in the Settings of the Wii browser so it’s not always sitting on top of the content you’re streaming to your Wii.The only downside to this method is that the quality of the videos you’re streaming won’t be nearly as high as the source, due mostly to the need to transcode the video and the fact that the video needs to be compressed enough to stream over the web. If you’re hoping to someday stream video natively (which would be, of course, much cooler, and much more competitive with what the Xbox offers), you may want to keep your eyes on the possible software mods and exploits that are looking to run Linux on your Wii. If that happens, look to really squeeze some exciting functionality from your Wii.” (props to LifeHacker’s Adam Pash)